Fear of what?
by FeelTrip
Summary: How would you feel after seeing the one's you love die over and over again? How would a seventeen year-old Steven handle these scenarios and more?


**_(A/N: Hello! Sorry it's been a while since I uploaded. I was busy with school, then I just got lazy. Anyways, here's the first piece after my long break. As for my last story, I've had writer's block for it, but will try to think of something soon. Enjoy this piece and, please, don't forget to critique!)_**

Steven always worried for those who surrounded him. He put their well-being before his own, sometimes even forgetting the danger at hand. That's why when it came to the Crystal Gems and Connie; he was especially worried for them all. He sat at the foot of his bed; the room was dark as if it were night. The clouds of the day blocked out the sun and loud thunder began crashing down. Whenever it rained, he would think of the day he learned about future vision. He was right when he was confronted by Garnet. The more he knew, the less he knew. It pained him that he could see all these outcomes, but would have to solely rely on what his heart is telling him. A crash of thunder fell near the house, and Steven cringed a bit. He didn't like the rain as much after that. After five minutes of just sitting there, he stood up and headed to the sink, splashing his face with water. He combed his fingers through his hair as he nervously awaited the Gems return from their latest mission. Even though Steven was more than capable, and welcome, to go, he decided to stay behind because he "felt sick". It wasn't a total lie, he did feel sick. His mind was just making it difficult for his body to properly function. A sudden flash of light appeared as the warp pad was activated. Startled, Steven was set back a bit, thinking it was lightning. Atop the pad stood the others with a bubbled Gem in hand.

"O-Oh, hey guys," he stuttered, "How was the mission?"

"Meh, it was okay, I guess," Amethyst moaned, "Just some other lame monster."

"Well, that 'lame monster' nearly sent you back into your Gem," Pearl retorted.

"Hey, I was bored. I wanted to have some fun!"

"Oh, you, I can't even-"  
Pearl's sentence was cutoff as a sudden push was felt. She looked up to the leader, Garnet, who was pointing over to Steven.

"Steven, is something the matter?"

Steven looked away staring out the window. The storm was becoming fiercer, he felt. His back remained turned to his family.

"Do you… do you guys ever worry? About dying?"

"Steven, we've been over this," Pearl sighed, "when Gem's are gravely injured-"

"That's not what I meant," he shouted, " I meant about _dying_! No more regenerations! No more forms! You say that your form is surrounding your Gem, but what about when it finally cracks? When your last form _is_ your last form!"

The room remained quiet. The tension was high as thunder and lightning, crashed and brightened the town. The three looked back-and-forth at each other. They hadn't really thought about that. They've had so many close encounters before, but that was because Steven (or Rose) was with them. Then they remembered that Steven is human, too. There's no telling if he will come back when he dies.

"St-Steven," Pearl quietly said, "Wh-Why would you ask such a thing?"

"Because every time we go on missions, or Connie continues her training or Dad get's mixed up in Gem business, I begin to worry about you all! Connie and Dad are human, and they cannot regenerate like you guys! And even though you can regenerate, what would happen if your Gem were to get cracked in battle?"

"Steven," a voice said.

They all turned to the screen door to find a soaking Connie standing on the patio. Steven rushed over to the door and opened it for her. Her hair covered her eyes, but was quickly moved by Steven.

"Connie… wh-what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you," she answered, "but, apparently, I was the one who was surprised. Steven, do you really feel that way? Do you feel scared that we're just going to die?"

He didn't answer, just diverted his eyes to the ground. However, she knew that was his way of saying, "Yes". She scoffed at his answer as he walked closer to him.

"So, when I chased you all the way down the beach after you got _abducted_ and beaten, that was what? That was me caring about you, Steven," she said, "Steven, you have to understand that there are some things that we cannot control, but there are some things that we can learn from."

"But—but I don't want to learn," he cried, "I want to help and protect you all!"

"Steven," Garnet spoke, "Remember what I told you on that day on the roof? That there are many outcomes for your future, but only you decide which becomes a reality. Well, that applies for this as well. You cannot protect us all! There will come a time that a difficult decision must be made and someone will have to make the decision and live with the outcome of the decision. You may be the one to choose what happens on that day, and if you think you can live with your decision, then you can learn from it. Right or wrong, every choice is a lesson. It is up to us if we want to learn it. I will not lie to you, Steven, we may be crushed one day, but until that day comes, let us enjoy the time we have with each other for now."

"Yes, but…" he began, "You're right. That is true that we have to live with our decisions. I just hope that I can live with the one's I make."

Garnet wrapped her arms around Steven, followed Pearl, Connie, and Amethyst, who was pulled in by Pearl. Steven let out a sigh as he returned their hug. He smiled at them all, a tear rolling down his eye. The thunder crashed loudly again, but he wasn't afraid that time. He felt like he was going to be okay.

"Come on, let's play a game," Connie suggested.

As the group dispersed, Steven remained there, staring over them all.

" _I know I cannot protect you all,"_ he thought, _"but I will be there for you all."_

"Hey, Steven," Amethyst hollered, "You coming or what?"

Steven shook his head as he came back to reality, and rushed over to the others. He found his spot between Connie and Pearl, his smile still on his face. He wasn't scared, or afraid, or nervous as much anymore. He knew that what would happen, will happen, but for now, he will enjoy the time he has with the one's he loves.


End file.
